I live for the morning and
Die every day
Into the twilight I am born
Held close to the tender breast of night
Cradled in the cool and silent spaces between.
These are the only things that are real at all.
There is more to the story of Dannica’s Birthday Buttons. I wanted to include everything in my previous post but I felt strongly about sharing what I could on her special day and wanted to wait for the appropriate permissions to come before sharing the full story… the miracles involved.
Since my baby passed, miracles have become commonplace in my life. I will never take them for granted, they will always take my breath away and bring my hands to my heart and my soul to its knees and I will forever bask in their warmth, their coolness, their peace; postcards from home while I’m here on Earth, at “Summer Camp.”
I saw a photo, similar to the one above, on a home page; something anyone would see when logging on to Etsy Thursday morning. Generally, I move quickly past this page because I’m there to sell, not to buy and I usually click through to my own stats’n’stuff, only taking time to browse other shops after that.
I really could not take my eyes away from that beautiful tin and those beautiful buttons and they took me back to Dannica’s childhood button adventures instantly and fondly. I felt her with me, beside me, in my left ear, up the left side of my face and into the crown of my head… tingling sensations of her presence, and her happiness, excitement, and her love. Priceless!
Dannica’s Birthday, June 16, the details of this transaction between myself and Chickie became beautifully and brilliantly clear. I had been tag-teamed by Angels. This spontaneous purchase of antique buttons was a quantum setup between myself, my Dannica and Chickie, a lovely woman who’s also passed away and who’s Dear Ones have continued to honor her life through their own Etsy shop.
This is a photo of a beautiful young Chickie ❤
I sent a note to the shop owners to thank them and to let them know what a special gift this was and how pleased I am with it. As I continued to look at the buttons and the little card that had been included; the birthday cupcake Thank You note from heaven. I could almost hear the two of them giggling about it. In the conversation that followed my purchase, I learned that Chickie’s birthday was June 13, three days before Dannica’s.
Love, Love, LOVE! to the Angelic Gemini twins. How exciting and comforting it is to know that Dannica is continuing to enjoy the things she loved on earth from the other side. She’s making good friends. She’s happy.
Today, our Dannica turns 21 years old. I remember the day she was born so clearly… the sweet smell of her little head, that first fragile cry echoes in my mind so clearly. I’m not sure why some of those first memories are more vivid than some of the last memories.
I think of Danni every day, nearly constantly, but this week I found myself wanting to take her shopping, wanting to get her a birthday surprise and make a special treat for her special day. The energy around me has felt spontaneous for days; like Dannica. She was so quick witted, so creative, so curious… so FUN!
She was also very tactile and as a small child had dexterous little fingers that enjoyed disassembling anything that was held together by nuts and bolts. These things were usually left for me to find as surprises such as the handle falling off the wood rack followed by the fireplace screen separating into three separate panels followed by the handles to the fireplace tools going missing. The most memorable to me was one of the legs to the kitchen table just falling over onto the floor leaving a three legged table balancing over her and the little pile of green nuts and bolts. She looked so proud!
One day while I was folding laundry, I noticed her in the closet admiring the shiny buttons on the sleeve of a coat. She traced them and slid her little fingers over the raised patterns on them. I’m pretty sure she was trying to figure out how to unscrew them, too. She never lost that love of shiny buttons and even as a precocious 8, 9, 10 year old still spent time in the closet lost in fascinated examination.
I have spent the past ten months or so surrounded by my new hobby of jewelry making. Each night, I sit on the living room floor and sort through beads, twist wire, experiment, create. It relaxes me. It keeps my hands busy and makes couch potato television watching (or floor potato as the case may be) feel like more of a productive activity. It’s been positively therapeutic as well as introvert appropriate.
This path led to Etsy. Each day, I log into my shop to see what’s new and what others are doing. This past Thursday when I entered the site, the first thing I saw was a photo of a beautiful vintage tin full of buttons! I couldn’t take my eyes off it and my first thought was, “Danni would *love* that!” I nearly clicked away from it but I just couldn’t so I bought it for her. I could just imagine the excitement in her eyes when she opened the tin and I could see her sitting on her bed laying them out, touching them, finding her favorites and putting them all back again. They would have become her friends, the way my beads are my friends; the way these buttons are becoming my friends, too.
I can feel her joy as I slide my fingers into the box, buttons closing in to cover them completely…maybe if I reach in far enough, I’ll feel her hand doing the same from heaven. Again, my child’s birthday brings me a priceless gift. It even arrived with this little card containing the image of a birthday cupcake.
Thank *YOU* Danni Jade ❤
Your Own Park Bench
Come, Sit with Me For a Time…
Let’s take a walk, like we used to, arm in arm, happily; silly laughter at silly things that give way to less silly, harder, heavier ones and tears, usually mine, but sometimes yours too.
Let’s go watch the ducks float on the pond and listen to the people in the park.
Ask me anything.
Tell me everything.
We’ll sit silently if you wish.