There was a part of me, though I never subscribed to the idea before her passing, that actually hoped the world would actually end today. In so many ways, the world ended for me that November night, in that ER, in that room, with the careless, thoughtless words and actions of that heartless doctor. “Focus,” she’s telling me now, “on what really matters here. She is wiser than I. She walked her talk and called me on the lapses in my own walking and talking. But I am angry in this moment. In this moment I wish for that doctor to feel one minute of my pain. Just one minute of what I must learn to live with for the rest of my life. One minute of this would kill the man. One minute.
No, I don’t feel fine.
(It’s time I had some time alone,
It’s time I had some time alone,
It’s time I had some time alone
I feel fine…)